GIVE YOURSELF PERMISSION TO LIKE YOURSELF

"Use them, abuse them, and they love you." - Darcy Bonfils

What will you gain as you gain self-confidence? Sex appeal! People are drawn to self-confidence. I'm not saying you should be an egotistical, selfish narcissist, but neither should you be so humble or self-effacing that you fade into the background or put yourself last. Love yourself enough to be self-confident; this will draw others to you and give you a solid foundation from which to appreciate and love others.

Self-esteem comes from three A's: acceptance, appreciation, and adjustment. Love yourself with the same unconditional love that a mother (ideally) gives a child. That means love yourself regardless of your IQ, your wardrobe, your job, or your looks.

Self-esteem -- or the lack of it -- is often the result of experience. If your parents and those around you are mindful of the three A's, you stand a better chance of liking yourself. But ultimately, self-esteem has to come from within. It has to be a flame that glows from inside you that says, " I am wonderful. I am lovable. I enjoy me."

You are your own best date and most entertaining companion. Too many people seek dates or mates because they are bored with themselves. If you bore yourself, there is little reason to think that someone else will be thrilled with your company. Consider the following truisms:

• You'll never be happy with or truly love anyone until you're happy with and truly love yourself.
  
  
• People are drawn to those who like themselves. Everybody wants to be around someone who is having a good time. Self-confidence screams sex appeal.
  
  
• Sometimes, being with someone you feel no connection with can be lonelier than being alone
  
  
• Most people don't think highly enough of themselves.

The conclusion? The key to happiness, whether you find a mate or not, is to love yourself.

Your goal is to give yourself permission to like yourself, appreciate yourself, and give yourself the time and attention your would give a lover. Remember the Army's advertising slogan: "Be all that your can be." Do all that you can do, and you'll have all that you can have.