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| Touchy and Taboo Topics |
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Touchy and Taboo Topics
Be natural as you can in saying what you want to say. Second-guessing what
the other person wants to hear, and being self-conscious about what you say only
makes you come across stilted and unnatural. but a few topics are best to avoid
on your first date:
- Obviously, noticing other attractive people and pointing them out. This
only makes the other person feel insecure.
- Talking about your opposite-sex friends too much. This stimulates insecurity
and jealousy.
- Talking about previous dating successes or horrors. This also stimulates
jealousy and puts attention on the relationship with other people instead of
what is happening between the two of you.
- Subjects about which people are very opinionated. This can be provocative
but risky, in case your date is easy to judge and not easily accepting of
opposing points of view. Topics that are known to touch off such fervor include
capital punishment, gun control, abortion, and homosexuality.
Sex. Launching into talk about sex too early can raise all kinds of
anxieties and confusion ("Is he coming on to me?" "Does she
always get sexy with guys on the first date?"). If you cannot resist
talking about a sexual topic, stick to current events and generalizations about
opinions without being too personal ("What do you think about the new
morning-after pill -- will it make men refuse to use condoms?" or "Do
you think they should have rejected that sex-education bill?").
Morbid topics are a risk but can be engaging, depending on the other
person's interests. For example, I have cared deeply about the Jon Benet murder
case (the six-year-old beauty queen found strangled in the basement of her
home). I can bring up this subject with others but need to be sensitive about
whether they are disinterested or find the subject too depressing to talk about.
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