Typical Places to Go for the First Date
Any place you choose to go, or anything that you do, can be perfect for you
if it suits the two of you and makes you feel comfortable. Go with your
instincts about this. But consider the pros and cons of certain situations, and
decide whether you can come up with something a little more creative in this new
age.
The most common answer anybody gives when asked about where to go on a first
date is "the movies." That suggestion certainly serves purposes. It's
a common suggestion, so you don't risk coming up with something the other person
is not into.
Going to the movies is safe because you don't have to talk to each other,
providing you with some safe distance and less pressure about what to say during
those several hours, and still providing you with something neutral (the movie)
to talk about afterward. But the downside of the movies is that you really don't
get to know each other. You're spending two houses paying attention to film
instead of showing off who you are. It's time to come up with something a little
more creative -- especially in the beginning, when you don't know each other
well.
The other most popular date is "getting something to eat." By going
out for dinner, you have the opportunity to talk and get to know each other a
little better, while you can still have the safety of the distraction of
selecting and eating food, and talking to the waiter. I certainly can't knock
this as a suggestion. But the downside of going out to dinner on a first date is
that you are put on the spot: You're facing each other and being forced to talk.
If you are anxious about making small talk, this may not be the best place for
you to start. As with the movies, you might do well to consider something a
little more creative for your first date. Get the best of both possible worlds
by doing some activity besides eating.
Another popular first date is "going out for drinks." Many people
use alcohol to ease those first-date anxieties about relating to a relative
stranger. Consider, however, that is would be better for you to face the
situation of your date without any crutch, following the principle that if you
are liked for truly who you are, then the relationship has a much better chance
of progressing. Also consider whether being in a bar with singles trying to meet
each other would stimulate any memories that would subliminally make you
uncomfortable or distract your attention.
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