Just Sex
"Is it possible to have purely sexual relationship without any feelings
being involved?"
Some people are just not looking for love or a long-lasting relationship; sex
serves as a momentary thrill or satisfaction of an emotional or physical need.
If both people feel the same way (and practice safe sex), no one gets hurt (like
in the trend these days for "buddy sex," in which friends have sex but
agree not to be committed to each other).
While such arrangements are possible when both people feel the same way, many
people think they can pull if off only to discover that they really expect more
or end up feeling more than they thought they would. Just as you should spell
out your intentions about wanting to wait before becoming intimate, be equally
clear if you go out with someone with the hope of having sex (and not much
else). Say something like, "I'm not looking for a commitment, so please
don't feel hurt if I don't end up calling you or giving you what you want. Sex
may not mean as much to me as it does to you." This is a bit cold,
but it's certainly a fair alert.
I hope you come to see that the best sex is in the context of a loving,
committed relationship. but if not, before you engage in an act that for you is
devoid of feeling, consider not only your intentions, but also your partner's
feelings. my suggestion is if you don't feel anything for the person you are
sleeping with, but you know that person has feelings for you, move on before you
cause a lot of heartache.
The best sex merges the physical act with an emotional and spiritual
attachment. As one man I know put it, "She's the paint, I'm the brush, and
the bed is our canvas, to create our beautiful painting of love.
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