The First Time

Sharing yourself sexually for the first time is an important step, and one that should not be taken lightly. You will likely remember this encounter forever, and it may influence your feelings about sex and love, so make sure your first experience is a positive one.  Let's say for Rachel who have a fear of sleeping with the wrong person as she's only 26 and have never been sexually active and she want it to be special. Well, the fear isn't necessary, but her concern that the first time should be special is warranted. make sure your first lover is considerate, caring, thoughtful, and giving. Be proud, not ashamed, of being a virgin until then.

Men, too, have anxieties about their first time. For example, Barry who is 22 and is still a virgin. He met a girl who wants to have sex, but He's really nervous. What should he do? It's natural to feel silly, embarrassed, or ashamed about being inexperienced -- especially when you think everyone else is sexually sophisticated. Don't try to pretend that you are experienced; share your nervousness and appreciate your naiveté.

A caring partner will appreciate your honesty and the opportunity to teach you. If not, walk away -- this is not a person to trust with your intimate feelings.

You can eliminate some performance pressures by talking together. Agree to take it slow, and that things may not be as great as you both expect. Spend some evenings just exploring one another's bodies through massage. Give each other feedback on where and how you like to be touched, making a more natural flow into lovemaking.

Too many men and women express regrets to me about their first time -- that they felt pressured into having sex, that it wasn't special enough. Don't do it just to "get it (virginity) over with." Think before you act, so you'll have no regrets later.